Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Christmas Birthdays



Both of our children were born in December.  Our first child, Noel, was born on Christmas Day!  As most children do, Noel loved to hear about the stories that surrounded the time when she was born.  Noel has been writing since she was a small child and has delighted us with many stories through the years.  I was particularly happy to see a piece she recently wrote and asked her if I could post it here.  With her permission....






 





A VERY IMPORTANT CHRISTMAS STOCKING
DECEMBER 19, 2015 


My parents are not perfect. No, there’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just that they’re human and perfect people don’t exist. As people, we get things wrong and we get things right.

I want to talk about something my parents got spectacularly, stunningly right.

About <mubmlemurf> years ago, a young couple was speeding along King’s Highway from Dahlgren into Fredericksburg in a VW Bug, with the wife begging her husband to be careful and watch the bumps. She was in labor and it was two o’clock or so on Christmas morning. The closest hospital was about 45 minutes away. Well, 25, given the way her husband drove.

At the hospital, there was some blasé behavior from the nurses. It was a first baby, after all. But at 4:35 that morning, she had her baby. The little girl was then cleaned up, given all the medical tests that were usual at the time, then put in a stocking and given to her parents.

That cemented an idea that had already been settling in my parents’ minds – that a Christmas baby was Important and Special.

It was treated that way from then on. I was named Noel. (I didn’t add the trema for another 12 years when I got sick of my name being mispronounced, and being misgendered). My birthday was treated as something wonderful and awesome rather than an afterthought.

Did I get a birthday party? Well, I kinda got two. I got one with my friends the week before Christmas with a cake (I got some pretty awesome cakes – winter scenes, dolls in ball gowns, Miss Piggy. They were great). That was all kinds of fun.

Then on Christmas Day, my birthday was celebrated with my family. Oh, we did Christmas as a holiday with Santa and presents and feasts and family and fun. It was wonderful. But I always got a couple of nice presents wrapped in birthday paper, and usually another cake with another rousing version of Happy Birthday from the family.

Heck no, I didn’t hate my birthday, nor do I now. I love it. All the emotional stuff surrounding my birthday goes on for a whole month. I’m lucky beyond belief.

But not everyone gets that.

When I was turning 13, the Free-Lance Star did a piece on Christmas birthdays (there were three in my neighborhood, and a few others in town). If I recall correctly, I was the only one who had much positive to say about it. Everyone else felt like the afterthought, or celebrated their birthday in June.

Lots of December babies, Christmas or not, get their birthdays treated as afterthoughts – another burden at an already overwhelmed time. I hate this for them. It’s utterly awful.

So, I’d like to propose some Rules for December Birthdays.

If the birthday is not on an actual holiday, let the WHOLE CELEBRATION be about them. Don’t wrap it in with a Christmas party.
If they are a Christmas baby in a family that celebrates Christmas, they get the whole day can’t be about them. It’s really okay. But let a part of it be Birthday and not Christmas. A cake and a song doesn’t take enormous amounts of time.
Don’t wrap birthday presents in red or green, or use any other standard Christmas imagery surrounding their birthday.
Avoid using Christmas stamps on birthday cards, if you can.
Find out in advance if it bothers them that Christmas and birthday presents get combined. (This varies. If you ask and get a weary shrug, it probably does bother them and they’re just too polite to say so)
For those of you who are parents of December children, keep in mind a lot of how they feel about their birthdays rests in your hands. Don’t let them be afterthoughts.




Noel is, and always will be my very best Christmas gift. 





24 comments:

  1. A wonderful story. We have a lot of December birthdays also. Have a wonderful Christmas!

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  2. What a very special present you received that Christmas! Baby Noel! It's lovely that your daughter is so free with her praise for her parents. Thank you for sharing her story.

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    1. Cathy, it certainly does delight us when she treats her parents to fond rememberances of her times growing up. ♥

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  3. Happy Birthday, dear Noel! Thank you for writing from your heart. Your wonderful, amazing parents received such a very special Christmas gift ~ and have celebrated your special day in such special ways over the years! I love your 'Rules for December Birthdays' and will share them with some dear friends. December babies are very special! Enjoy your festive family times, Noel! ♡Dawn@Petals.Paper.SimpleThymes

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    1. Thank you, Dawn. I'm sure Noel will read your thoughts and birthday wishes. She may not know that you are a December baby as well. December babies are very special to me. Have a wonderful week, dear friend!xoxo ♥

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  4. A very special Christmas present indeed! I have loved reading her story and her open honesty about the situation. I know many Christmas babies and none have spoken so eloquently with most of them feeling second best to Christmas Day or they opt for the celebrate in June route.
    You obviously did a good job there, Martha Ellen! xoxo

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    1. Thank you, Deb. It's always nice to hear from our children when we have gotten it right. I hope your week is filled with joy and peace, dear friend! xoxo ♥

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  5. Happy Birthday, Noel. I love that name, by the way. A December baby is so very special. I just met my brothers and sister for a Christmas lunch today, and my brother's birthday is right before Christmas. I think it's beautiful when a baby is to be born on the most special day of all.

    Wishing you the Merriest Christmas, Martha Ellen. May your heart be filled with love and joy in the new year.

    ~Sheri

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    1. Thank you, Sheri. When we were expecting Noel, we thought Noel would be a perfect name if she were a girl. These were the days before learning what the sex of the baby would be. Happy birthday to your brother!
      Merry Christmas to you and your family, dear Sheri! ♥

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  6. I will never look at Christmas birthdays in the same light again. To have made Noel's Birthday a separate and special occasion apart from Christmas, was both wise and important.

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    1. It was the logical thing for us to do, Jeri. We wanted to make both of our children feel loved and cherished as all parents want for their precious children. ♥

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  7. What a lovely post, Martha Ellen. I'm so glad I found your blog this past year, I especially enjoyed all your UK adventures and that wonderful cruise.
    Amalia
    xo

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    1. It's been lovely meeting you, Amalia. Blogging has introduced me to many fine women. Thank you for all of your sweet comments through this year! xo ♥

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  8. Wonderful post and great advice, Martha Ellen; Noel is a beautiful day.
    Merry Christmas to you and yours.

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  9. Wow yes, a wonderful Christmas gift! I enjoyed reading Noel's essay. I can see it would be difficult for some. Have a wonderful Christmas, and I hope Noel also has a great birthday.

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  10. Very interesting essay. I have a dear friend who celebrates a December 21 birthday. She's never liked it.

    Love that Noel (how is the name pronounced?) was brought to you in a Christmas stocking. Darling! Yes, I am sure that she has always been the best Christmas gift. How can that be topped?!

    Happy Birthday to Noel and a Merry Christmas to you all!

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    1. Vee, Noël is pronounced No well. That's why she adds the trema over the e. We probably should have spelled it Noelle, but I wanted it to be like the Christmas Noël.
      Merry Christmas to you and your family! ♥

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  11. My friend's birthday is actually the 22nd and I have made another mistake. I have a Christmas stamp on her card. Wonder if I can peel it off and put a flag on it.

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