Happy New Year to all of you, my blogging friends! I trust you enjoyed the holidays with friends and family. We always have a house full at Christmas.
Our daughter and son-in-law come to visit for several days around Christmas. As well as our son and his boys. Every bed in our home is used! Our hearts are thankful to be together during the holidays.
During the holidays while our immediate family is visiting we also host an extended family get together. We have done this for years.
Now as I'm getting older, I realize I may need to scale this process differently. How to do it will be a major mind project for Grayden and I.
I truly love having my family gather every year in our home, but it's a lot of work! If any of you have gone through this and scaled down please let me know what your process has been.
I know in a couple of months, I will forget how tired I am now and will plan to have the same process next year. I'm really not happy when I realize I need to scale back, but I must!
Family is so important to me. It's really my world, my love, my life.
Our daughter and son-in-law come to visit for several days around Christmas. As well as our son and his boys. Every bed in our home is used! Our hearts are thankful to be together during the holidays.
During the holidays while our immediate family is visiting we also host an extended family get together. We have done this for years.
Now as I'm getting older, I realize I may need to scale this process differently. How to do it will be a major mind project for Grayden and I.
I truly love having my family gather every year in our home, but it's a lot of work! If any of you have gone through this and scaled down please let me know what your process has been.
I know in a couple of months, I will forget how tired I am now and will plan to have the same process next year. I'm really not happy when I realize I need to scale back, but I must!
Family is so important to me. It's really my world, my love, my life.
Do you visit Linda at Linda’s Life Journal. She and her extended family have wonderful gatherings. I think it’s all about taking turns and splitting up the workload. So glad that you had everyone gathered. I know you went to bed with a full heart knowing everyone was there. Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteVee, I do not know Linda. My extended family gets together on other occasions in their homes as well. I think it's a bit much for me because it's not one get together, but several in the span of a short period of time. ♥
DeleteThat is so beautiful.. you got house full of all your loved ones..
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year!!
Krishna, that's the best part of the holidays! ♥
DeleteHappy New Year, Martha Ellen.
ReplyDeleteI think it's time to sit everyone down and tell them how you feel. Ask for input. Suggest they help you with some of the cooking, and maybe amalgamate it to one larger gathering? Whatever you decide, I know it will work out well and everyone will be happy.
~~~Deb in wildly wuthering Wales xoxo
One large gathering would be great, but impossible around the holidays for my family, Deb. We need to all get together while my daughter and son-in-law are here from New England. All of the extended families spend Christmas day with their families. Oh well, we are talking about changes because it's necessary for Grayden and I. xoxo ♥
DeleteHappy new year! !
ReplyDeleteI wish you a year filled with peace, good health and happiness.
Ryoma.
And the same to you. Happy New Year. ♥
DeleteShare the workload, each family taking a turn to cook and clear a meal, rather than doing everything yourself. In previous years I used to do a lot of preparation of food Oct/Nov and freeze it. Hope that helps.
ReplyDeleteI think this year was more complicated because we spent Sept and October in Great Britain. When we returned there was much to do to get prepared for Christmas. Getting more done in advance is definitely more to my liking! xoxo ♥
DeleteI've been thinking along the same line. What I plan to do when I feel it is just too much work, is to ask everyone to bring food, I'll set out sheets for everyone to make their own beds and then strip them when they leave. Laundry I can take my time doing once they leave. As for cleaning--why bother, except for the bathrooms, because once the house if full of people no one notices!
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about the cleaning, Cathy. I do plan to make big changes. Thank you for your thoughts. ♥
DeleteI don't know what your budget is, but if you plan ahead and save (one idea would be to use this as a present to each other), I have taken the pressure off myself in two ways: hiring a cleaning person the week before to do a full house clean and catering in one meal. I do the catering from an upscale grocery and usually order a ham and side salads. Even doing one of these will free you up tremendously! I usually do holiday cooking myself but when it's my extended family gathering I find myself too tired to enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your thoughts. I will probably be incorporating some of these ideas. It would be a shame not to enjoy the gatherings. ♥
DeleteFamily is so important to me too, Martha Ellen. I had the family over at my house for years and used to do everything, but when Nel and Jess got married and had their own little family, they got to be familiar in the kitchen, and now they are good cooks, and Jess, a terrific baker. So now, if the holiday get-togethers are at my house or their house, they always help out, and that makes a difference. Wow, look at that red cardinal! That's an awesome picture. What a blessing to see that. And your fruit wreath is pretty. The happiest new year to you, Martha Ellen. Your posts always warm my heart.
ReplyDelete~Sheri
Sheri, both of my children are great cooks as well. Our daughter made a wonderful chicken curry while she was here. I know I need to "let" my children be more of a help to us. I'm kind of a control freak and need to accept help.
DeleteI hope your new year is off to a wonderful beginning! ♥
I completely understand this. It just is harder because we don't have quite the energy we did when we were younger. For us it has gone well because our kids live in town and our son and his wife have taken to hosting Christmas Eve. For 30 years I had a big Christmas Eve gathering. That coincided with my mother dying, so a lot of our extended family then decided to stay home and celebrate with their immediate family since mom/grandma was no longer here. I know you love having them there so maybe something will work out. Open communication is a key too--let them know how you feel. And make it simple--order some food out if you can, use paper plates. It's hard for me not to keep up to my high standards but I'm learning to let go of that a bit. I wish you well. At least you have some time to think about it! Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dotsie for your thoughtful ideas. I need to let go of some of my standards as well. That's a difficult thing for me, but I must because I no longer have the energy needed to do it all. How silly of me to think I could! Happy New Year to you as well. ♥
DeleteI understand this completely. We host thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, and August family reunion. It's a lot of expense and work. And yet, I'm afraid that if we didn't do it, no one else would. Our main objective is getting the family together. So although l don't have the energy level I had in my 40s, we will most likely continue to host. We did make it easier this year by serving a spiral cut ham (easy) and Bbq meatballs (easy) and a green salad and popovers (easy) on paper plates. We have six meals over three days, so we asked someone to bring a huge bag of broccoli and 2 dozen croissants, someone else to bring the salad. It helps.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your same sentiments about gathering with my family, Judy. Over Christmas our entire family is with us for six days. During that time we have breakfasts, lunches, dinners. Two rather special meals on Christmas day and then another larger gathering with extended family two days later. I did the spiral ham this year for Christmas as well-yes easy. Thank you for sharing your ideas. I've always considered our hosting a gift to my family, but this year I totally ran out of steam. At the end of the visit we both attended the funeral of my cousin and sister-in-law on the same day. I'm sure that added to my emotion packed week. ♥
DeleteIt's hard to get that right balance. But I'm so glad you had a wonderful holiday and made memories that you'll cherish! Happy new year sweet lady! Hugs, Diane
ReplyDeleteThank you, Diane. Happy New Year! ♥
DeleteFamily is so important and meaningful! You made some wonderful memories this year, I can relate to the tiredness of planning events! Wish I had an answer to making it easier, that's why I take it easy in January and recuperate!
ReplyDeleteWishing you the health, happiness and joy this new year, thank you for your friendship.
Blessings,
Sue
Sue, this year seemed to be extra tiring to me. I'm going to try and be kinder to myself next year. Yes, family is so important. Thank you for your kind words and making me feel like I'm not the only one. Happy New Year! ♥
DeleteSometimes when I'm clinging to my "high standards" and resisting scaling back on something, I remind myself that humility involves recognizing my limitations. I'm a bit of a "control freak," too, so I know what you mean!
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to let go, but I must not forget I can't do it all! Thank you for your thoughts, Jean. ♥
DeleteI just love your Christmas china, it is adorable. And so nice to hear that you had a lovely holiday, dear Martha Ellen. Happy 2018.
ReplyDeleteAmalia
xo
Thank you, Amalia. Those dishes are really old. They were very inexpensive, but we enjoy using them the month of December. xo ♥
DeleteHappy New Year to you and yours! Loving your piece of McCoy wear...I have a pitcher that I have had since I was 18. Had surgery then and my boyfriend had me flowers delivered in it. Funny what you hold on too......
ReplyDeletePam, I love my McCoy bowls. I'd love to see your pitcher. It's getting more difficult to find them in antique stores now. They are workhorses in my kitchen. Happy New Year to you as well! ♥
DeleteMartha Ellen, I hear your heart speaking here! We want to host, to surround ourselves with our family (immediate family and extended family), to provide a warm and welcoming and beautiful environment. I am totally with you.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet . . .
Sometimes life changes. We change. We don't run out of desire, but we do run out of steam.
I often wonder how we'll fare when both girls are not at home any more. With all of us working together (including the two energetic young things!), it can take us an hour or so to put the house back together after our gatherings. (And that doesn't mean that it's clean. Just that the dishes are done, the trash gathered up, toys are put away, chairs back in order, etc. Cleaning is done at another time!)
I think it's important to give yourself grace. Do what you can do with joy . . . and then accept help, lower your standards (that's hard!), make adaptations. Allow people to contribute to the meal. (They are usually willing.) I have always felt strongly about using "real" dishes. But now that we have 18 in our immediate family, we use Chinette plates for most meals. It's not what I like, but my dishwasher won't hold dishes/glasses for 18, so I concede. Better to enjoy time together and eat from paper plates than to not get together because it's not what I want.
I know I am rambling on and on, but only because I think about these things myself and try so hard to make it work . . . and to make everyone comfortable and welcome and loved. And if I am stressed out, I think it makes others uncomfortable and I don't want that!
Happy New Year to you and yours! I know you'll find a way to make adaptations that you'll be happy with because your heart is there!
Thank you, dear Cheryl, for listening to my heart. I've always prided myself on having nice gatherings for my family. I guess "pride goeth before fall." This past Christmas really taught me that life is changing for me as you say. I know I can get more help if I ask. Grayden is a wonderful helper and so are my children and grands if I ask. I must put my pride aside and ask. I agree I do not want anyone in our home to feel uncomfortable either. So the next big get together will be different, but the same. My family means more to me than just the right table setting and such. Thank you for your thoughtful comments as always. ♥
DeleteIt looks and sounds that you had a wonderful family Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI do like those lovely Christmas plates ...
Wishing you and yours a Happy New Year.
All the best Jan
Happy New Year to you and your family, Jan. ♥
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